Gavin's reluctance to vary his diet has inspired me to do the following hatchet job on a masterpiece of songwriting.  It occurred to me that perhaps Gavin's refusal to eat wasn't just a whim, but some purportedly sage advice passed through generation after generation of toddlers. If you aren't familiar enough with the song to sing it in the shower, you won't find this terribly amusing, so I'm posting this mostly for country music fans.

The Toddler

On a warm summer's evenin' on a stroller bound for nowhere,
I met up with a toddler; we were both too tired to sleep.
So we took turns a starin' at our own wiggling footsies
'Til development overtook us, and he learned to speak.

He said, "Son, I've made a life, out of readin' parent's manners,
and knowin' where the treats were, by the way they held their eyes.
And if you don't mind my sayin', I can see you're out of 'nanners.
For a taste of your formula I'll give you some advice."

So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow.
Then he bummed a pacifier and latched onto it tight.
And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression.
And I knew that he was poopin, as his skin turned red and bright.

"You got to know what to chew on, know what to spew on.
Know when to crawl away and know when to run.
You never count your cereal when you're sittin' at the highchair.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the eatin's done.

Ev'ry toddler knows that the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away and knowing what to eat.
'Cause ev'ry meal's a winner and ev'ry meal's a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to poop in your sleep."

And when he finished speakin', he turned back towards his footsies,
Capped off his pacifer and faded off to sleep.
And somewhere in the darkness the toddler, he digested.
But in his final words I found a Puff that I could keep.

"You got to know what to chew on, know what to spew on.
Know when to crawl away and know when to run.
You never count your cereal when you're sittin' at the highchair.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the eatin's done."